


Mask

by PI (DoubleChocolateMuffins)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Body Image, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-31
Updated: 2012-07-31
Packaged: 2017-11-11 02:43:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleChocolateMuffins/pseuds/PI
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are Caliborn, and you love no one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mask

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yeison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeison/gifts).



You watch the screen with cold eyes, fingers methodically compressing one of your sister’s make-up sponges. On your monitor is Dirk Strider, sleeping soundly, his back to you. It makes your heart twist and your stomach flip and that reaction frustrates you to no end. It elicits a horrible mix of hate, agony, sadness…and an emotion that you really wish never existed in the first place. That emotion is what compelled you to go through with this ridiculous and terrible idea at all. It’s what made you go against your word and buy a container of heavy-duty human skin-tone make-up. A black wig. Green contacts. Glasses.  
You feel ridiculous.  
It's not just because of what you're doing. It's because you care. You care about what Dirk Strider thinks of you. Of your appearance. You care if he likes that Jake English fellow more than you. That enrages you.  
You are Caliborn. You don't care about anyone but yourself. You most certainly don't care about that damned blond on your monitor.  
Oh, but you do. You care so much. You want him to give you the time of day. You want him to forget about Jake. You--  
You want Jake English to die and for you to take his place.  
You could do it too. You could be Dirk's Jake English with this makeup and this entire costume...  
Turning away from the monitor, you gather up the container of fleshy makeup, the wig, contacts, glasses and carry them into the bathroom and dump them everywhere. You don't bother with cleaning your face like your sister does. You immediately shove the sponge into the cakey paint and streak it across your cheek.  
You grin.  
This is perfect. Fool-proof. Dirk will forget about Jake and he'll come running to you. Finally, after waiting ever-so-patiently, he'll be yours. Jake English will fall and you'll rise as the victor, the one to conquer Dirk Strider's heart. The only one to ever do such a thing ever again.  
You slap more paint on your face until it's totally covered, then shove on the pre-styled wig, insert the green contacts.  
Lastly, you place the glasses on your face.  
Your reflection is perfect. It's what you want. What he wants.  
Desperately, you wish he could see it, but he can't and your heart twists again and it makes you so damn angry because you DON'T FUCKING CARE!  
You don't care. You don't...  
A chime notifies you that it's nearly time for your sister to wake up, but you don't move for several minutes. All you do is stare at your reflection until you can't stand it anymore and your fist is coming down on the glass, splintering it into a thousand shards. Red blood seeps from cuts on your hand and Calliope is going to be pissed, but you can't find room in your body to give a fuck because every inch of you is burning white-hot with hatred for everything.  
Jake English, Dirk Strider, yourself.  
You hate everything.  
You fucking hate EVERYTHING!  
You don't even notice when Calliope starts to knock at your subconsciousness, nor when she begins to take over.  
You find no crevice in your entire being to care about what your sister will think when she wakes up to find her face caked with peachy paint, her head covered with an unnecessarily itchy wig, looking through glass panes streaked with fingerprints.  
Your entire body is consumed with hatred, and in that moment, that's how you like it. You don't want to care anymore.  
You are Caliborn, and you love no one.


End file.
